Anyways, Sunday I got to sleep in quite a lot. Do you know how nice it is to get a bunch of sleep while you're in college?? It's fantastic, but you still go throughout the day feeling exhausted... meh.
Sunday was basically a battle between getting some studying done, and not wanting to do anything because I was too dang tired. I had to go outside to sit in the sun before I could feel any type of energy to study for my Philosophy midterm... But that was really nice. My favorite time to be outside on campus is anytime between 4 and 6. It's right when the sun is starting to go down and you get a rich, evening glow all over McCarthy Quad...
The other real treat to the day happened later that evening. As I was sitting in the Quad, I decided I was done with Philosophy and wanted to start my Spanish homework. For Spanish, I was supposed to write a critique of some sort of art form that I'd observed/seen/read recently... but I couldn't think of anything. I figured it was a good excuse to watch a movie sometime before the assignment was due, but quickly forgot about it as I continued onto other things.
Ok, so a few years ago I attempted a project in which I would watch every single one of the official 50 (at the time) Disney movies, in order. I made it up to Bambi, but after that started the odd, mix-matched movies of Disney, which are practically impossible to find nowadays, so I abandoned the idea.
I found the next movie after Bambi!!!
It was on Youtube, and is called "Saludos Amigos." It made me so incredibly happy to watch it!!! It wasn't even that spectacular, but I knew the history behind it and it was so... classic Disney that I was smiling like a 4 year-old as I sat through all 42 minutes of the film. And then, I had something to write about for Spanish! So that was fantastic. :)
Today... Today was a rough start.
Have you ever had those days when it's really obvious to you that there's spiritual warfare going on? Yeah, that happened today. It's an odd feeling... call me crazy, but I could swear there were little demons circling outside my window this morning... waiting to pull me and my thinking in an odd direction. I was even spooked by a squirrel that ran by my path... Maybe it was God's plan to get me to think of him more, because I found myself praying a lot more today than normal.
My acting class added to the feeling down... but first, what was really nice was I got to share my personal reading- that little passage I chose at the beginning of the year that has significance to me. I chose Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers, you know, the one about there being some good in the world, "and it's worth fighting for." I chose the passage because, well, I believe all of what Sam says in that little speech. It just... mirrors the take I want to have on life, and that I strive to have about life as much as I can. Plus... Lord of the Rings just resonates with me in such a deep way for some reason... I don't know what it is about those movies... I just feel so moved and empowered by the story and the characters and even the actors. It reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want to tell stories like that. I want to be a part of something that grand and large-scale that's going to reach and touch a lot of people... there's so much beauty in it.
Here's the speech, in case you have no clue what I'm talking about:
I stumbled over my words a bit in class, but that's what I meant to say.
Anyways, sometimes after my acting class, I feel pretty incompetent as an actress. There's so much I'm doing wrong... and I hear over and over again in class the ideas and details that we're supposed to be acting out... but I still feel like I'm missing something. Something is not quite right, or just hasn't clicked yet.... I need to figure out what it is. So I've decided, at least at this point, not to audition for anything else this semester. I need to focus on what I'm learning in this and all my classes for a bit, and see if I can decipher what it is I need to add to my own performance... I might change my mind. I tend to be mercurial about these things, but we'll see.
So I was in a bit of a downer mood when I got to my Intro to Theater Production lab. The lab was fairly fun, but I felt useless at times when I wasn't doing a job. Therefore, I plunged myself into any work I could find and figured I'd just prove to myself that I wasn't useless. What helps is that one of the shop workers doesn't seem to like me much for some reason... or maybe he just makes condescending remarks to everybody...
Anyways, I got an early lunch, but met a DPS officer who helped cheer me up a bit. We just had a really short conversation, and he gave me some advice just to not worry, and keep at what I'm doing, and things will be alright.
And you know, that's exactly what Sam's speech is about... Sometimes I forget to keep that philosophy, but it rings so true...
The police officer really cheered me up, and what helped even more was taking some time for myself to look up random facts about Disney on my computer for a bit before my next class :) Well, I also studied for my midterm, but still, did you know that the same animator of Stitch animated Toothless in "How to Train your Dragon?"
Next was my philosophy midterm... I think I'm taking these midterms way too lightly. I'm just not stressed at all about them... yeah, I studied... but walking into the classroom, I felt fine. And I think I did ok. Maybe didn't get an A, but I feel like a solid B is a good expectation.
Cleaned the room up, got some dinner, and then struggled to study for my next midterm... getting super tired again... but there was a silver lining to that too: My music really motivates me, and right when I finished studying, Paulina and Julia (some friends from Intervarsity) came by with "Midterm survival kits" full of little treats for Jinny and I. We made plans to go to frozen yogurt tomorrow. I'm super excited.
So today's lesson: Keep your chin up. Every shadow has to pass at some point, and things are going to be ok... I just have to keep remembering that.
Fight on, friends.
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