That's from Lord of the Rings. I wish I had time to read the books... I still need to finish Pride and Prejudice for crying out loud!
Here's why I don't have time. For starters, Friday morning was the make-up lesson for my voice lessons. I didn't practice as much as I should have before coming to the lesson... I'm not sure if my teacher could tell, but I certainly could... I ought to be practicing a lot more than I am.
This made me realize that I'm basically taking 20 units at this school. I have 18 units of classes, but I should be doing 2 units worth more work to practice my singing, otherwise I'll never be as good as it as I would like. On top of that, lessons are changed now so that they're every week instead of every other week, so I'll have to be even more on top of it!
This began an interesting theme of Friday: "Rachel doesn't have her act together. She really really really needs to get her act together."
So the rest of the day was me trying to portion out my time to get stuff done or planning on getting stuff done.
But in the midst of all the craziness, I found out how to find a bit more peace.
I'm still thinking of Walker, a lot. A crazy lot, and when I least expect it. I'm not surprised, I guess, but when I think about what happened, I get really sad... then I don't feel like doing anything and I can't think of anything else but Walker. It's hard to deal with all that emotion when it hits you straight away, but I found out a way to help myself.
Walker loved playing piano. He was a great musician in general. So, if I'm thinking of him and I'm getting too sad, I play the piano.
There's a really out-of-tune piano in the lounge, but if the people in the lounge don't mind my playing, then it works just fine. Playing Les Mis is really helpful, both because it's the same book Walker played at my house last June, and because the songs fit how I'm feeling. I'm also trying to learn Pirates of the Caribbean. I made a friend on Friday because I was playing Pirates in the lounge, and he asked to play with me. It was a pretty fail result, but at least we got to talk about music together. I learned too that I mess up rhythm a lot... I need to stay consistent. But anyways... it makes me feel better just to play. It's like I'm letting his legacy linger on by playing the piano, but expressing myself at the same time, since it's me playing... or maybe music just does that. I don't know. I like it though.
This morning I got up waaayy late. It was ok though. Jinny got up late too, and we wanted to go to Target together today anyways. The Metro can be pretty fun if you know where you're going! Unfortunately, I cannot trust my iPhone map. It was getting all messed up and led us in the complete opposite direction of the Target once we got to Downtown LA. Our adventure in itself was pretty fun! I'm glad I know where the Target is now, and it's got a really nice selection of stuff. There were a lot of great clothes there too... but I restrained myself.
On the other hand... LA makes me sad. One minute, you're in a beautiful, well-made, clean area... and the next there are people sitting on the sides of the streets, and the smell of a dirty city hanging in the air... There's so much sadness and misfortune here... And I want to help, I really do! I want to give the people asking for a dollar for the metro a dollar, or reach out to and listen to the man sitting alone on the street... but I can't. For several reasons, of course, not all of which I need to lay out here (though #1 is safety)....though it still hurts to know that so many people are suffering in this city...
When Jinny and I got back, we spent quite a lot of time (in fact, too much time, at least on my part) working on decorations for the front of our door. I did get something done beforehand though by arranging my room a bit differently. I can now use my dresser as a bed headboard, and (hopefully) my snacks are now harder to reach... Just a little bit.
It's been so hard to concentrate on homework... that's the thing I need to do more than anything right now. My to do list is pretty long nowadays...
Especially now that I'm able to come home for Walker's memorial on Wednesday! I'll be skipping some classes, which means I have to step up my game in work a little bit, but it's worth it. Some things are more important than classes sometimes, you know? And I think this is one of them. I want to be there for my friends back home... and it would be really nice for me to be with people struggling with the same pain right now too. As much as I wish it were for a different circumstance, I can't wait.
Here's hoping I get everything done by then... Fight on, friends.
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