Remember, remember, the fifth of November.
Gunpowder, treason, and plot.
I see no reason why this act of treason
Should ever be forgot....
Happy Guy Fawkes day!!!! It has nothing to do with my blog post, but it makes me happy all the same :)
I've discovered a new fatal weakness: Toffee Almonds. They are so. good. Spiced almonds are pretty good too, but Toffee Almonds. Seriously. I ate waaaayyyy too many of them tonight, and now I'm suffering for it.... but I think it might've been worth it.
For the most part, today was a typical Tuesday; Theater 130 lecture came first, where I learned about sound systems in the theater. I wasted a bit of time hanging out in the sun afterwards before working on my Spanish presentation. My mom called when I was back at the dorm, and I talked to her for a good long while before getting lunch and going to my next class. I got ready for working at the theater, then I had Spanish class. Then I went to the theater to work.
On my way there, I ran into a cast member while I was grabbing some dinner at Seeds. He was also grabbing some food. We ended up walking to the theater together and talking about the show and auditions and theater in general. He's really neat! Oh, and his name's Sam. He plays Lord Windemere in the show and I think he does a great job, so it was cool to talk to him.
I have a lot of fun in the wings. The other crew members are actors too, so we have a lot of fun putting on characters and talking about random things or just talking. Plus, since the show has so many British accents, we can't help but to put on an accent or two ourselves occasionally. At least, I can't. It seems so natural when I'm backstage to do so!!!
I made a few mistakes again tonight, but not like last time! So I'm happy with that! And now I"m back in my dorm and have been for a while, being on my computer and not going to bed when I should've been sleeping an hour ago.
The most important thing that happened today for me was a bit of self-analysis. Three things, in particular, that stood out to me today:
1) I want to be an actress when I grow up.
Talking to the cast members and being backstage today (but mostly talking to the cast members) reminded me today how exquisite and complex and multi-layered theater is. There's beauty on so many levels of it... and a depth too. Every story has depth to it, and the actor just adds an additional layer of depth by adding an interpretation. It's creating an entire universe, it's traveling back in time, it's... it's inexplainable. But I was inspired today to keep striving for it... and reminded that there's really, truly, honestly nothing else in the whole world I'd rather be.
2) The only way to get what I'm aiming for is to work my butt off.
Some of the advice I got today was to read lots and lots of plays. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work to take monologues from those plays and perfect them. It's a lot of work to make an effort to refine, over and over again how you portray a message. It takes a lot of work to learn to sing and to keep your voice in good condition. It takes a lot of work and concentration and focus just to be in a theater. That's the only way I can actually get to where I'm going- I need to work hard and harder at what I'm trying to do. I'm not working hard enough, and I know it. I don't know how I'll work harder, but it's something that has to be done, so I'll find a way to figure it out.
3) I have way too much ambition for my own good.
I'm trying to do too much. There's too much that I want. Let's face it: I have pretty rotten self-control (all those toffee almonds?), I'm pretty lazy at times, and I don't manage my time as well as I could. Not to mention I get distracted fairly often. What makes me think I can do everything I think I can do? I have nothing but ambition to keep me going in achieving my goals. And ambition is not enough.
This is what I'm in college for though, right? To figure out who I am and to keep working toward what I want to do. I'm getting there, slowly. I wish I could snap my fingers and suddenly have my life figured out, but that hasn't worked yet. I'm working on it.
Am I doing too much, or not enough? Or both at the same time? Meh, I'll figure it out in Philosophy class...
Also, any thoughts? Advice? I always appreciate it.
Fight on, friends.
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