What I Miss the Most- September 8-9, 2013

Sorry for not writing yesterday.

I was just exhausted. It was another rough day yesterday anyways: didn't do a whole lot, mostly did homework and laundry and tried to get to bed early. I did get to go to a Christian group in the morning for a church-type service, so that was nice.

I also met up with a girl who I was considering taking voice lessons from. The meeting seemed disorganized and scattered, and she threw a lot of technical terms at me all at once... but she also made me realize how bad of a singer I am... I don't pay attention to technical things a lot, and there's a lot of technique that would greatly strengthen my voice, especially if I take the time to actually practice. I need to take the time to practice too: your voice is an instrument. You need to practice playing it just like you would piano or flute or anything, so that was convicting...

Then I went to rehearse a scene with my group from my acting class. We had to perform it to the class today. This turned out to be fun...except I was approved to go to a taping of the X-Factor today and had to miss it because of this rehearsal. Jinny and Sneha went instead, and ended up getting Simon Cowell's autograph... I'm happy for them, but sad thinking that it could've been me...

Today was a much better day though! Well, relatively.

My group got pretty grilled on our acting scene. Mary Joan is wonderful, but she sure doesn't sugar coat things when they aren't going well. I appreciate it, but at the same time... it would appear that not a lot went well with how we decided to perform our piece.... I even got called out for wearing jean shorts instead of black pants. I'll have to do that next time...

I also had my first Theater 130 lab, in which I learned how to use a ton of different power tools and normal tools around the shop. It was intimidating at first, because I was started with the metal tools that spray sparks everywhere, but after I got used to that it was pretty fun! I'm proud of myself for it!!!

I did some shopping at the bookstore, and feeling really inspired and put-together, I treated myself to a book that's been catching my eye every time I go to the bookstore. It's called "How to be a Working Actor," and is supposed to be filled with tips and advice on how to do well in this crazy business. I'm excited to read it.

I worked out and grabbed some lunch then, and got to enjoy just being outside... God really blessed me today in small details, I think. It was finally cool, there was a breeze, I saw a butterfly, I heard birds even among the noise and the chaos, food tastes so good... all these little things just add up to peace and joy and blessings.

And then I went to Philosophy. I've discovered the time of day when I get the most tired: right in the middle of the time I had my philosophy class. It's not that the class is boring, I'm very interested and engaged!! I just can't seem to keep my eyes open....

After a ten minute power nap after class, I studied, grabbed some dinner, talked with my family, studied a bit more, and then started to panic. I read somewhere on Facebook about auditions for a musical on-campus, and thought that the auditions were happening tomorrow! They require one pop or rock song, so I was trying to figure out a song I could do and was pulling out sheet music I had and thinking through a monologue...

Then I looked at the details closer. Signups are tomorrow. The auditions are later in the month. Phew!

Well, since I have time to prepare, I think I'll audition. The show is "Rent," which, as popular as it is, is more of a risque show and definitely not in my typical voice type. But hey, it never hurts to try, and since I didn't audition for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels earlier this semester, I figured I might as well try for some musical this semester, right?

I'm so tired right now... Why do I write this blog when I'm super tired? Maybe because I shouldn't be going to bed this late... like, ever, but I still am...

The past few days have reminded me of a lot of things I miss about being home and not in college. For example...

-A Christian community constantly around me
-Prayer. Out loud prayer with other people, that is
-Worship music
-No trouble deciding what I want to eat for dinner
-More motivation to get to bed early
-Decisions that are made based on other people's plans. Takes off some responsibility, you know?

I guess I took a lot of that for granted at home.

I also miss my siblings and my parents and family and all my wonderful friends. Speaking of my friends, I got to talk to one today who I haven't talked to in weeks. We used to talk every day!!! It's just... so strange, I guess. I guess I took a lot of my friendships for granted sometimes.

Another thing that's weird now is my dreams that I have. They aren't just dreams anymore. Now is the time I start making them a reality. This is the time to build my resume, learn these skills that are going to help and equip me in the real world, and discover just how challenging my life is going to be. I'm preparing, being proactive, working harder at what I love than I ever have before, and it's so exciting... yet at the same time, completely intimidating. I wish it was easier... but I've heard it said before that nothing worth doing was ever easy to do.

There's a lot to juggle. I'm getting used to it though... step by step. One day at a time.

Fight on, friends.