Learning more every day- September 30, 2013

I have to say, I've learned a lot today.

Today was a pretty typical Monday. I got a lot of helpful advice in my acting class on how to act better, though I felt bad for being onstage so much... I just won't volunteer Wednesday to give more people a chance. Still, I'm glad I'm learning.

In my 130 lab, I got to help set up the set in the Bing theater, which meant that I got to climb a really tight, small, spiral staircase all the way to the top of the theater!! It looked like it was out of the Phantom of the Opera. It was so, so cool!!! Otherwise, this lab is teaching me how to just shut up and let people talk. I find it works a lot better that way: I shut up and take directions, and the people in charge do what they want. They know what they're doing better in that shop than I do, anyway. 

I'm going to try for another audition. There's a company on-campus called Brand New Theater, and they produce brand-new, student-written plays. They need actors to put these on, of course, so maybe they'll think I'm a good fit for one of the one-acts?

I found out in Philosophy that I have to buy a blue book for my midterm. Looks like we are in college, folks!!

The best part of today though was when I got back from working out. A group of my high school friends had a Google Hangout that I got to join in on! I got to see and talk to some people that I haven't in a long time. It was so fun to hear their voices and to have them make me laugh :) I miss all my friends so much. I have some great friends here, don't get me wrong, but there's nothing like old friends to make you happy. 

I've been just relaxing since.... thinking a lot for sure.

I'm really ambitious. I've known this about myself for a while now: I'm always trying to do more than I probably can. But I've found one of my problems: I focus on my goal instead of how to get there. But I don't want to make a plan to get to a goal, because who knows what God has in store for me to get there? Still... maybe planning is something I should consider. Making little goals in order to reach a bigger goal.

The other problem with this, though, is what little goals are going to help me reach the big ones? What if I think something will help, but it's just a waste of time? Will I ever know? 

Anyway, my point is I've been thinking a lot about this, and I think I'm going to try to solidify my goals, and hopefully smaller goals to reach them as well. Any advice from any of you out there who might've had goals accomplished before? 

Anyways, I'm also thinking about how I feel a lot better being here now than I did at the beginning of the year. I guess I'm finally starting to get used to this kind of life, here in college. There are a few things that still annoy me to pieces though:

1) The dirty bathroom. It's gross. Some people on this floor just do NOT care about cleanliness... ick.

2) Not being able to be barefoot everywhere :(

3) It's difficult to get meals because all the food is far away when you want it, and I'm not unlazy enough to look up the menu of the cafeterias every day to find exactly what I want to eat

There's still no place like home, I suppose.

Fight on, friends.

A Breath of Fresh Air- September 29, 2013

And just like that, I'm back in LA.

I got to spend a really peaceful morning back home: going for a walk and playing with Ashley and Jesse, talking with my Mom, sending Kris and my Dad off to a softball game, packing up... I love my family. Getting dropped off at the airport today, saying goodbye again, and even while I was at the house thinking about how I had to leave, I couldn't help but tear up a bit. I did break down a bit once I got to the airport. I felt a little awkward going to security trying to wipe up the tears off my cheeks...

I'm not used to being alone. I don't mind it if I'm prepared for it, but it hit me out of the blue today. I like people. I like being around them and talking with them and connecting with them and being one of them. People are great.

Anyways, I got myself a smoothie from Starbucks, which helped me feel better. Getting on the plane made me sad again though... I teared up again and actually had a few tears fall. My Drama anthology with Twelfth Night in it didn't help hide my emotions as well as I'd hoped. A fairly older man who looked fairly well off sat down next to me, and after five minutes of my attempts to pull myself together, he commented on what I was reading.

"So, you're rereading and underlining, huh? Shakespeare too! Good for you... And you're leaking. How come?"

I explained I was leaving home, and he seemed to understand pretty quickly. He chatted up a storm all the way up until we took off. At first, I was a little annoyed that I wasn't getting much done, but after a minute or so became really intrigued with what he said. I got to know almost his whole life story without saying more than 10 words. He was a Christian, first of all, and got to that point in his life after searching through several different religions and philosophies about life. He was an Orthopedic surgeon in a family of doctors of some sort, and they all went to the same school somewhere in... Philadelphia I think? Or Iowa? I don't remember. He was from the Midwest though. I told him about my elbow, since he was an orthopedic surgeon, and it was cool how he could understand the procedure I'd gone through just from me briefly describing what happened and how I had a screw in my arm. So that was cool. He had two daughters, one of which was on the plane with him, but they were older (30 or 40 or so). He was also really into a branch of psychology and a particular personality test that I'm not remembering the name of. He also seemed really well off... He owns quite a bit of land in Toronto and gives money to charities around the area.

We talked about how I was a college student. I mentioned I was a theater major, upon his asking, and he told me about a lady he knows in the Santa Monica area who's a really accomplished actress and one of the experts in the particular psychology branch he'd been talking about. He gave me her and his email so I could talk to her about it by the end of the flight!

I did end up finishing my philosophy homework on the flight, despite being busy with our conversation, but my point is it... inspired me in some way. I don't know, but I felt a whole lot better about being away from home and alone and being in LA in general afterwards.

I had a great conversation with my taxi driver too! He was Armenian and had a daughter who was an amazing singer in a show choir in Burbank. He was part of a classical singing group himself at one point. Again, he did most of the talking, but I enjoyed listening to him.

There are some great people in LA. And you know, it's not all that different from the Bay Area. There's just a lot more people and a lot more going on, that's all.

People back at the dorm seemed pretty happy to see me back, and it's always nice to know you've been missed. :) We went to dinner, I unpacked, finished my homework for tomorrow, and Sneha and Jinny and I had a nice conversation before I threw in the towel. And now I'm here, back in my dorm room, writing this blog before I go to bed tonight.

I feel so much better now than before. I feel refreshed, rejuvinated, and ready to take on what these next two months have in store, since I most likely won't be home again until Thanksgiving.

Here goes! Fight on, friends.

A Home and a Half- September 25-28, 2013

Yeah... I forgot again.

I didn't forget, per se, Just didn't quite get to writing since... Tuesday, was it?

Well, sorry folks. Let me update you the best I can.

Wednesday was pretty chill. I'm really getting to know people in my acting class more day by day. They're such great people!!!  I got some fresh fruit at the Farmer's Market after my classes in the morning, so that was nice :) I don't remember what else was exciting about Wednesday though... sorry...

Thursday was very lovely. I worked out a bit in the morning, then got breakfast at Starbucks and ate it outside while doing my homework. It was such a perfect autumn day: the air was cool and fresh, the leaves were everywhere, it was chilly... it just felt like fall. I thoroughly enjoyed just sitting and being outside.

My classes were both very nice! We're reading Twelfth Night in my Text Studies class now, which is my favorite Shakespeare play! I love the story; it makes me laugh and I love the characters! Especially Viola. I'd love to play her! Spanish is just downright entertaining. It's a really small class, so we all get to interact a lot, and our professor is really fun too. She's fun to talk to, just in general (we often get off-topic in class). I'm also learning. I feel like I'm a lot better at Spanish now than I was in high school, and it's only been a month!!! Plus, I'm the only freshman in the class, so it's kinda fun to talk with the upperclassmen.

Right after class, I raced back to my dorm room to print out my resumes and headshots (I did choose. Thank you all for telling me your favorites!) and change. Then it was off to auditions!!! I auditioned for Rent, but did not do very well. It didn't help my confidence much. I'd been practicing and practicing and I thought I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and how and I'd felt so confident... how did I completely fall apart when I got to the audition room??? I am just horrible at auditions. Awful. My head explodes or something. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong but I need to figure it out!
After that I had an audition for a film, and that went better! I like film auditions. I think I'll try for more during the rest of the semester.

I went to get dinner with my new friend, Vidhi, then came back to the dorm room expecting to go to the Row for the first time with Jinny. Instead, Jinny went with Sneha to the ER.

The second floor door used to be left unlocked, but recently, it's been kept locked by the building maintenance/security. It's usually not a big deal; we just have to completely free our hands, pull out our keys, then unlock and open the super heavy door every single time we come up. Sneha was going through this procedure, but the door was opened pretty forcefully from the other side while she was at this process, so her foot got cut pretty bad.

So like I said, Jinny went with her to the ER to get stitches, and I tried to wait up for them. I hung out with Kieryn, Alex, Vidhi, and Kate, in turn, as well as cleaned up and painted my nails. At 2:30, I couldn't stay up anymore. Turns out they didn't come back until 4 in the morning. Yikes.

Anyways, Friday was also pretty casual. I met up with Thomas for breakfast, then met up with Sandy and Sam to work on a scene for our acting class. I'm pretty pleased with the idea we came up with for our scene! I also got to get to know both of them better, which I always love. I got lunch, then it was class. I got to read some of Viola's lines during a read-through :).

The next exciting thing that happened was I called a cab, cleaned up my room, was picked up by the cab, and was taken to LAX! That's right, I'm home for the weekend!! I'm pretty proud of myself for listing on a flight, getting to the airport, and getting to and on the flight all by myself. It was a pleasant trip!

Dad picked me up in San Jose, we stopped by the house very briefly to drop my stuff off. I had the best welcome party: Jesse and Ashley ran outside to give me huge hugs and. It was wonderful :) :) :)

But then it was right back out the door and to the TKA football game!!!

It's odd, being back on your high school campus once you're an alumni. Honestly, I felt like I was having a pretty out-of-body experience ever since I landed in San Jose. It just felt like... either I was dreaming while I was here, or that I finally woke up and the whole past month at USC had been like a dream... Also, being at King's, I still felt like I was part of the family atmosphere, but... I felt more like the aunt of the family than one of the kids. I don't like growing up....

At the same time, it was SO much fun running all over the stands saying hi to everybody!!! Mikayla was there, and it was so great to see her beautiful face again! We got to give Mr. Wilson a hard time, and I got to ask all the seniors where they were applying for schools (come on guys!!! Keep me company at SC!! Nobody's applying!!). I also got to talk to a lot of my old teachers. They're less like teachers now, and more like friends. I love it.

So anyways, I spent last night in my own bed, and now, here I am. In my own living room, in front of my own TV.

I'm really glad I came home. I've just gotten to relax... despite all the stuff I have to get done before Monday, all the homework, all the stuff on my to do list... I can't feel stressed here. It's weird... but I can't. I left my stress in Los Angeles or something. I've gotten to play with my brother, spend time with my little sisters, be around my parents, and, get this, drive a car for the first time in a month.

I was so worried I wouldn't remember how to drive a car... I did ok though. I'm in one piece!!

And you know... I think that being home now will help me feel less homesick when I go back. It's just a good reminder that I'm doing something right by being in college. I'm getting out on my own, I'm finding my own way, and I'm doing a good job (at least, I hope so). At first, it felt like I was back in my own house, but I didn't live here anymore. It was a "going to grandma's house" type feeling, you know? You feel comfortable, but it's not quite where you belong. In my case, where I belonged anymore. But my dad put it in a better way: It is my home, and I do live here. I just don't live here all the time.

I like to think of USC being home too. It'll get there. I guess... I just have two homes now.

...ok, maybe a home and a half. Like I said, it'll get there.

Fight on, friends.

It's been a rough day- September 24, 2013

Today was one of those days.

-I woke up late

-I barely finished my paper on time

-I had to pay a library fine for Tangled since it was a day late

-I might not be able to audition for Rent

-I had trouble landing a film audition

-I feel horribly overwhelmed

-When I feel this stressed I feel sick

-I'm trying to figure out how to get home this weekend

-I have more work to do for next week

... *sigh*

:'(

Fight on, friends

I'll never be a Philosopher- September 23, 2013

What is up with these sudden waves of good and bad days?

To be fair, today wasn't bad, just draining. Mondays are getting pretty intense now that I have my Intro to Production lab every day for three hours after my acting class. I could technically get it done some other time in the week, but honestly, it's easy to get it out of the way at the actually scheduled time. Besides, I have to put in 36 hours in there this semester.

Anyways, we had a guest in our acting class, which was really neat! He's a working actor, so he shared some of his wisdom with us. I don't remember his name, but he's in The Godfather part 3! So that's pretty cool!

In the 130 lab I basically got to learn how to play with texturing. We did a bit of painting too, but one of the paints smelled absolutely terrible. It smelled like... maybe something had died two weeks ago and then someone came and threw up on it before sticking it in the sewer. It was disgusting... But the texturing was fun!

As I mentioned in yesterday's blog, Mom came to visit again today!!! She was here for work, so she met up with me after my class for lunch. Sometimes, it just helps to have family nearby. I love you, Mom!

We hung out in my dorm room for a bit, then I had my Philosophy class. And that's where today got pretty awful.

We were finishing up our discussion today on the existence of God. My professor briefly discussed the Problem of Evil: the basic form, how one would go about countering it, etc. Then we started talking about Pascal's Wager. If you're not familiar with it, Pascal was a philosopher who said, basically, the odds are more in our favor if we believe in God than if we don't. It's less opportunity cost to believe in God if he exists than to not believe in him if he exists. Well... My professor talked with a very enthusiastic class on ways to counter that... and it just really shook me up.

For starters, he brought up a lot of tough questions. Why does God send people to hell even if they never have the opportunity to hear about him and believe in him? That's not a just God. How can God be omnibenevolent if he sends people to hell in the first place? How are we supposed to know what the right religion is, and is it fair if we're punished for eternity just for picking the wrong one?

The question that shook me up the most was the first one, to be honest. It's the one that I don't have a rational explanation for... at least from my point of view.

But then that led to an argument basically showing God to be crueler than the cruelest being to ever be alive, based on the number of people he, theoretically, killed by sending to hell. ...What is anyone ever supposed to say to that?

...I don't like Philosophy. I don't think I'll be taking another philosophy class unless I have to.

Mom was really encouraging though. After class we got to hang out and talk and walk to CVS before she had to get back to her hotel room. Hopefully I'll be able to go back home to visit this weekend... it'll depend on how my audition goes.

She left, and I spent a little time attempting to get homework done before going to dinner. Since I got back, I've been fighting to finish this paper tomorrow... I'm starting to think I'll do a much better job if I cram it in and finish it tomorrow before class starts.... I hate doing that though.

Gosh darn it! I finished the entire blog from this point on and it didn't save!!!! I have to try to remember how I ended this post now... :(

If I try to finish this paper tomorrow, it's going to leave me stressed and pressed for time tomorrow... is it worth it? If I attempt to write it now though... I doubt I'll be able to concentrate. Honestly, I took a break to write this blog in the hopes it would get me in a writing mood, but all I want to do is sleep.... but then I'll be pressed for time tomorrow and more worried about getting it done!

Ugh. How anyone makes it out of college alive, I'll never know.

Fight on, friends.

Perfectly Planned- September 22, 2013

Happy Official First day of Autumn!!!! Today was freaking awesome.

My only regret is that I haven't started on my THTR 125 project yet, and it's due Tuesday. I'll pay for it tomorrow, I'm sure, but for now... for now I'm very, very happy.

I planned my day out from the start, to begin with. I didn't get up until 10, which I wasn't too happy with myself for. At least I got 8 hours of sleep?

Anyways, I decided from the start what I would do with my day: get breakfast, get some work done, work out, and then do more homework before dinner.

And it went exactly like that! I met up with Kieryn and Nina and Bailey at breakfast, which was really nice, then I was able to read some 10 minute plays for my acting class. Some of the plays are pretty intense... There was one that really struck me about loyalty and patriotism. The characters argue for a long time about whether or not patriotism is worth it, and if it's wrong to be so enamored by your country. Turns out the country referred to in the play is Nazi Germany... Intense, right?

Then I actually made it to the gym! I've been putting it off for a few days now, but I'm proud of myself for sticking with that today! Then, after grabbing lunch, I spent what seemed like FOREVER doing my Intro to Production homework. It just takes a really long time...

I had about an hour after that, so I rented a music practice room and attempted practicing my singing/my audition songs... This is the one thing I'm semi proud of myself for... but at the same time, why am I so self-conscious about my singing? I kept getting frustrated because I felt like I didn't sound right, or I wasn't doing something right, or that there were people outside judging me and what I was doing... Why do I do that? Nobody cares, and the only way I'm going to get better is to get over myself and actually concentrate on getting the right technique down for once! Who cares what I sound like? ...I  care, I guess... but I shouldn't! You know? Grr...

Anyways, my good friend Thomas's parents were visiting, and I got the privilege of having dinner with them! It was nice to get off-campus for once!!! I had a great time!! :)

When I got back, Jinny wanted to go to EVK to get coffee, and Sneha wanted to go for dinner, so I joined them to get dessert. I love these girls. We had such a blast even though we weren't there more than a half hour!

I should've gotten work done on my project, but Will was online and I haven't talked to him in ages!!! So we had a nice conversation instead while Jinny finished up some work.

And then... Finally... After way, way, way too long...

Jinny saw Tangled for the first time.

I know! The FIRST TIME!!! I'm so happy we were able to finally watch it!!

I love Tangled. The story is so wonderfully done, the characters are adorable and relatable and just... so great! It's all so great!!! Yay for Disney magic :)

And to top it all off, my Mom's in LA again!!! I'll get to see her tomorrow :) I'm so excited!!!

I hope all your days were wonderful too, friends!!! Fight on!!

Work hard, Play hard- September 21, 2013

It's official: as of today, I have been at college for one full month.

And I got enough sleep last night for once! Which was awesome! This morning I went to breakfast with Jinny, Sneha, and Kieryn, but we were also joined by Nina and Astha. It was quite a lovely arrangement!

It was game day again, but Kieryn, Jinny, and I stayed back to get some work done before going. That turned out to be pretty productive, as I finished reading the play I was supposed to (it's called M. Butterfly. Not sure if I recommend it... actually, no, I don't) before I headed over to the Coliseum.

We got there right after the first quarter: 7-7 against Utah State. We made fun of their mascot a bit... Someone please tell me: what is an Aggie?

The game was exciting! Then boring... then exciting again! Then we won! So that turned out to be quite a lot of fun! I got another high five from Tommy Trojan (officially a game day tradition for me for now on: run to the bottom of the stands for a high five after touchdowns!!!), and even though it was really hot outside, it wasn't as hot as last week, which was nice.

I'm excited for the next nighttime game, and to have a full Saturday next week, when there is no game day.

Anyways, we had some time for studying after the game, where I was able to get my Philosophy homework done as well as fix my printer and talk to my family a bit.

We ate dinner really late, but afterwards, a big group of us got together in Sneha and Kieryn's room... and...

We watched Lord of the Rings!!!

It's a beautiful Saturday Night tradition, don't you think? I personally think it was the perfect end to today.

We hung out for quite a while afterwards, just talking and what not. Someone brought up the idea of having a traditional Saturday night movie night, and I think it's an excellent idea. After Lord of the Rings we can watch things like Singing in the Rain, The Breakfast Club, Tangled (which Jinny still hasn't seen!), and a lot of other great classics. I'm excited.

In other news though, someone threw up in our bathroom... Jinny and I went up to the fourth floor to brush our teeth... Yuck :(

It's late now though, and tomorrow is a work day. Work hard, play hard they say. It looks like I'm following that mantra pretty well so far!

Fight on, friends.

Nothing too Interesting- September 20, 2013

I hate days like yesterday was.

It was just one of those days where I could've gotten so much done and a lot accomplished, but I was feeling too out of it and too focused on one particular thing that I couldn't find the energy or motivation to do anything else.

Also, I thought I'd write up about yesterday before I continue with today, by the way, since I literally forgot last night.

Anyways, when I got up I had that dilemma of getting up too late: It was the perfect time for both eating and working out, but I couldn't do them both at the same time, plus if I did one, it would mean it was too late for the other after I was through doing one.... does that make sense? One or the other situation. That's what I mean.

I ended up eating. Starbucks is the best.

Honestly, most of yesterday was spent just working on my audition for Rent. I finally chose a pop song to sing! Now I just need to learn it and practice practice practice. What's funny is how long it took me to find and choose an actual song... I think I spent at least 3-4 hours on the project! My worry about the pop song I chose though is that the range is about the same for both my pop song and musical theater song. They both go up to a high C, the one right above middle C. I can go higher... so I'm worried I won't be showcasing my range as well as I could... but at the same time, I'm going to about my limit for being more belty... plus one song is centered more on the low notes than the other. So that's ok, right?

 I had one class, and I also went to a stress workshop where I made a neck wrap! It has lavender in it, but just looks like an old sock. Very DIY, but I like it :)

One thing that was really nice about today was I went to bed super super early last night. I was going to watch Tangled with Jinny, but we rain checked it. Now, I have 10 hours of sleep under my belt. Not bad for college, right?

Anyways, I'll write tonight about today. It's Game Day!!!!!!!!

Fight On!!!!!

Time for My Closeup- September 18-19, 2013

Yeah, I'm writing this a bit late again. Forgive me as I try to remember what actually happened on Wednesday.

Oh, that's right. I felt like a real actor!!!

It kind of hit me during my acting class Wednesday morning that I really am starting to feel like an actress. I've always considered myself a drama kid, theater student, etc., but that's different than being an actual actress, you know? But I'm finding that artist in me. There's a freedom in just leaving you at the door and stepping into someone else's skin, and I'd like to think I'm getting better at it.

The other thing about acting is having complete control... yet at the same time, not thinking at all. It's quite a paradox, I know. An actor, however, has to have complete control over their body and mind. You have to know what little things are going to be convincing as your character, and what isn't, and how to train yourself to manipulate how you act with your acting. At the same time, if you overthink things, you're not staying in the moment of the character. Don't think: just do! But make sure you know what you're doing.

It's hard to explain.

Anyways, I had my Philosophy discussion section, then hurried back to the dorm room to make myself look all pretty! I met up with a photographer named Bobby Galvan. He used to go to USC, but now he works in film and photography. I saw his advertisement for headshots a while ago, and I need a headshot. Well, I needed a headshot. I don't anymore!!!

I'm supposed to pick my two favorites for him to add some editing to: one theatrical and one commercial. Let me know your picks! These are my favorites of my favorites, and certainly not all of the ones we took. If you like what you see, check out bobbygalvan.com. He's awesome!!! (Shameless advertising) Also, sorry for how many are on here... I know I can only pick two... but I love so many of them!!!!!!

T1

T2

T3

T4

T5

T6

T7

C1

C2

C3

C4 (which looks a lot like C3... sorry)

C5

C6

I'm really, really pleased with how all the pictures turned out. Thanks in advance for the compliments. I can sense some of them coming. I'm not trying to fish for them, I promise!!! But I am having trouble finding two favorite pictures. :/

Anyways, after that adventure I grabbed some lunch and went to my Philosophy class. I've figured out my problem with Philosophy: I don't think deeply fast enough for it. It takes me a little while to fully grasp an idea and come up with an argument.

I spent most of the evening in my dorm room, especially after dinner. Paulina came to visit Jinny and I, but our conversation was interrupted when the fire alarm went off.

We all had to leave the building, and the fire department came!! I started to get worried... it clearly wasn't a drill, but I hadn't smelled smoke... and we couldn't see flames...

Turns out someone just burned popcorn in the lounge microwave. We all got to come back inside, and I finished my Spanish project. Hooray.

Wow. Onto today!!!

Thursdays. I tend to like Thursdays. Today I got breakfast with Jinny, then right afterwards had a voice lesson with Prof. Mcveigh. Wow... there is a LOT I'm doing wrong when I sing. I think what's been happening for me, in acting and singing, is in high school, I learned the basics, but not the details of the basics. Now I'm learning the details, and the basics... aren't so basic anymore. Anyways, she taught me a lot, just in an hour, but also said I had potential, which I'm super happy about. I take it as a great compliment.

She also basically gave me a lesson in how to be confident unknowingly. A lot of what she said about being free in your singing and letting your full voice come out paralleled in my mind with things I've heard God imply to me at parts of my life. For example, "Trust your vocal chords: they know what to do!" Trust God, he knows what he's doing. You don't have to do anything to make that happen, and, just like your singing, you become weaker when you try. It was really cool. I felt blown away afterwards.

My text studies class helped me decide that I would absolutely LOVE to play Stella in A Streetcar Named Desire. And not just because of Marlon Brando, trust me. (though he is quite a good-looking man... his voice is a little off...) There's just something about her character that's resonated with me from the beginning. Not sure what it is, exactly, but still...

I actually had time to work out today before Spanish class!!! Spanish as a class is pretty fun! The kids in it are really lively and entertaining, as well as my professor :)

This evening I worked on trying to update my resume, went to dinner with Kieryn and some members of Intervarsity, and then went to the Intervarsity fellowship. I enjoyed it, even though I was feeling pretty tired a lot of the time. It's odd... I feel like I'm going through some sort of dry spell spiritually... but I'm not quite sure. God still pops up every now and then... but other times I feel really distant. I'm not sure what to make of it.

I came back to the room, and was planning on getting something done, but then Jinny discovered that The Emperor's New Groove was on Netflix. How can you NOT watch The Emperor's New Groove?

If you haven't seen it, there's something wrong with your childhood. Go to Netflix!!!!!

Anyways... hopefully tomorrow will be more productive.

Don't forget to let me know about the headshots! And Fight on, friends.

Mommy!!!- September 17, 2013

It was hard to get up this morning.

Thank the most gracious, perfect God above for Scottish Breakfast Tea. That and some honey, and I only started to doze off in THTR 130 once. Boo yah.
I'm getting to know my Intro to Production professor a little! He's a neat guy who really knows his stuff. He's got that talking on and on and on quality to his voice though. Meh.

I was able to get back to my dorm room in time to wake Jinny up for her class, then worked hard to finish the reading that I failed to do last night. I got pretty far and only had 5 or so pages to go when I got a pleasant interruption.

Mom came to visit!!!!!!!!!

I've missed my family so incredibly much; it was so nice to see her again. She went with me to get lunch, then we both read (and people watched) so I could finish up that reading I had to do before class. She even walked me to class :)

In Text Studies, we're reading A Streetcar Named Desire, and I find it absolutely fascinating. I would love to play Stella, should I ever get the opportunity. Your thoughts? Don't spoil the ending! I'm supposed to finish reading it before Thursday, and would prefer the surprises!

I left class early and met up with Mom to go to a follow-up appointment for my elbow. Remember those problems I was talking about? Taking Motrin has helped it feel better, and the doctor said that it just got irritated somehow and so it's only swollen. I should ice it and still continue Motrin, and it should heal with time. So that's great news!

Mom and I got to hang out more while I studied for my Spanish test, but before that we went exploring in the film school, and I proved that I officially know my way around campus now. Yay for college students!

I left her again for my Spanish test, but that turned out to not be nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was easy, and only worth 3% of my grade. Hooray!

I hung out with Mom some more: she helped me get ready for tomorrow, and gave me some stuff from home I've been needing (clothes, etc.). She also brought me homemade muffins!!! But, unfortunately, she was here less than a day. I walked her to her cab and said good bye again around 5:45 :(

Since Mom left, it's hit me again that I actually am homesick. I can't wait to see all of my family again, as well as my friends. Even after a month of being here, USC isn't quite "home." I mean, it is in regards to where I'm living, but as far as where I'm used to calling home, it certainly isn't. In that case, my home is back in the Bay Area.

If home is where the heart is... well, then home is in my chest.

(Kudos to you if you can guess the reference I just made)

Anyways, Jinny and I discovered that there were free cookies at Chick-Fil-A, so we went on an excursion to obtain them, then I went to eat real dinner before eating my cookie. It was good! Really chocolaty. I also discovered a Cold Stone nearby campus!!! Success!!! Jinny and I think it would be a wonderful idea to go to Cold Stone before our next Lord of the Rings movie :)

Ever since, I've been in my room, attempting to get something done of this Spanish project that's due Thursday. It's not hard, per se, but it is tedious and not particularly interesting. I'm done with all my initial research, finally, but still have to put my sources in MLA format and write the actual paper. I'll do some of it tomorrow. Maybe work on my sources tonight.

I miss your hugs, Mom :( Hope you made it home safe: you never did text me upon arrival... Pretty sure your flight arrived by now!

Of all the things college throws at you, I think being away from those you love is the hardest.

Fight on, loved ones of mine. <3

High School v. College- September 16, 2013

I don't get it.

High school feels hard, but then, all of a sudden, Wham! College comes out of the blue and proves itself to be harder.

Why is that? I was dealing with more when I was in high school, and yet, for some unknown reason, college seems like I'm doubling that load.

Think about it:

In high school, senior year, I had to be at school, every morning, at 7:15. Here, I have to be in class at 8.

Then, I was in a show, and doing cross country, and keeping my grades up with two AP classes. Here, I'm not in any shows, though I want to be and I'm trying to be, I was going to do a sport but can't, and I can hardly find time to work out.

Senior year: Classes. All day. 7:15-3. Every day. Here, the schedule is completely varied. There are days when I only have an hour or two of class all day.

WHAT is up here?

I mean, the best explanation I can come up with is that college is the first time us kids have really living alone. Not technically, of course: I share a floor with at least 20 other girls and I have a roommate, but still. We're away from our families for the first time, and for a very long time, we have to figure problems out on our own for once... It's a lot of stress on the mind and emotions. Plus, we're all trying to fit in and make friends here, soak in all the events that happen, and start planning for our careers. So, in short, High school was harder physically. It was a big load to carry with things to do and pressure to do it. In college, it's harder mentally and emotionally. Plus, every class you take is the same rigor as an AP class.

Is that a good enough explanation? It's all I can think of.

Anyways, I started today off with good old Acting class. I'm noticing how much focus it takes to think through a scene and actually act it. It engages every single bit of your body and brain... Man, I don't know if what I used to do was real acting or not. This stuff is intense.

Speaking of which, I need to work on making a vibrating noise with my vocal chords without intentionally humming and with my mouth shut...

Anyway, I worked on the chop saw with a girl named Charlie during my Production Lab. We were building some set pieces for one of the shows, so I not only got to use the chop saw, but a pneumatic stapler and wood glue as well. Work the freshman hard. That's how it goes. Oh well...

My day was pretty uneventful, it seems. I didn't do much between that class and Philosophy either, besides attempt to study and take a 10 minute power nap.

I am absolutely exhausted.

Then, in Philosophy, I learned that I have a paper due in October. The outline is due next week. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Just what I needed to hear, you know, exactly. It's not like I'm already freaking out about my Spanish test and Spanish project that I have tomorrow and Thursday or anything.

Gaaahahhhhh

I haven't left my dorm room chair since about 6, except to go outside and get fresh air once.

To be honest, it's partially because I'm trying to get a lot done, and also partially because I'm not feeling very well. I might be just stressed out... I hope I'm only stressed out... but it feels nice to just sit and... well... sit. I'm not doing nothing, but when your stomach feels like a rock while you're walking around, and it doesn't when you're just sitting, that's an improvement!

The other thing that sucks was that Sir Elton John was here tonight performing. Apparently, the wait list was pretty short. I wish I could've seen him perform... everyone coming back from it said it was amazing! Not that I'd have the time... but still... Elton John himself!!!!

*sigh* I'm not done working yet. I have to figure out how to study for Spanish more and get what I need done for 130 tomorrow, but still get to bed at a recent time... It's 11:43. Let's call midnight a recent time?

Dangit. That's not going to happen.

Wish me luck. Fight on, friends.

Three in One! -September 13-15, 2013

So... I'm bad at keeping promises, it seems.

But, I will still aim to do my best to bring you the full account of this entire weekend.

Friday started out with me getting in a really quick workout before rushing to Starbucks. I met up with a guy named Bobby Galvan (check out his website! bobbygalvan.com). He's a photographer who put up an advertisement for headshots in the theater where I have my acting class. We talked about his work and what kind of pictures I'd be looking for, and he agreed to take headshots for me!!! So I'm going to have real headshots like a normal actress!! Hooray! I'm actually really excited about it. He does some fantastic work!

I started to get really super stressed out on Friday though: I had just a ton to do and my elbow was bugging me and I had no idea how I was ever going to get it all done... There's just so much to do!

I had a class, and at lunch ran into Sneha and Astha in the Campus Center. Then went back to my dorm... but decided to check the mail when I came in, you know, just in case.

I HAD A PACKAGE

I wasn't expecting a package, so I got super super excited. Turns out Annie sent me cookies!!!!!! They were exactly what I needed since I was feeling super run down and stressed out, and because they came with bubble wrap. Everybody knows that bubble wrap makes every day the best day ever :)

I started writing her a letter, then a Stress Management get together met up in the Pardee Lounge, where I was. It was an RA set up event/series with an Occupational Therapist professor who lives in Pardee tower with her husband. We made stress balls and it was really fun!!!

Some of us girls stayed afterwards to paint our nails. Yay for girly things!! :) Sneha and Kate even let me do fun nail-art stuff on their fingers, and we made a new friend who went to get us toothpicks to use for our nail time!

I had to run and get dinner then, since I had an audition for the improv group Commedus Interruptus! It was fun... but I didn't do as well as I wanted to, and I felt pretty intimidated by everybody else there.... It took me a while to make myself feel better before going to sleep (coloring books and comforting music were involved...)

Saturday was quite a big day. One other thing I did Friday was talk to my doctor back at home about my elbow, so as soon as I was up and ready for the day and the Health Center was open, I went to get my elbow looked at. They agreed to let me in when I showed them how my elbow doesn't extend down all the way like my other arm can. They checked me out and took an x-ray (which I didn't get to see. Drats), and the good news is the screw in my elbow has not moved. Huzzah! I do have to go back in on Tuesday to see what the problem really is though. In the meantime, I'm taking Motrin.

I went to grab food at EVK after that, since I hadn't eaten beforehand. I ate most of my brunch, but the fire alarm went off and everyone had to evacuate. I managed to take some food with me to finish up though, so that was no big deal.

Then it was off to the football game!!! I got there as the 2nd quarter was underway, so only missed one touchdown. It was so hot outside!!! I don't like day games as much... but at least we finally won a game!!! That was fun, plus I got a high five from Tommy Trojan!!! And got to see Traveler super super up close!!! That was the best part of the game, hands down :)

After the game, I came back to the dorm and did a bit of cleaning up. I don't quite remember what I did then... It might have involved studying... Anyways, I grabbed dinner then went to my second improv audition for The Merry Men. That audition went SO much better, even though I still stink at improv. I was not called back for either group, very understandably. It's a bummer... but oh well...

After auditions, I met up with Kieryn, Sneha, Jinny, Kate, and our new friend Julia, and we went to Julia's friend's apartment! His name is Clay, and his apartment has a flat screen TV. So we watched Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. It was Sneha and Kate's very first time watching it, and Kieryn's first time watching the extended edition. Confession: it was my first time watching the extended edition too, but oh: it's such a beautiful movie...

Why can I not get over the story? What is it about these movies that resonates with me so much? I just feel drawn to the story and the characters and the creation of the entire film in a way I can't explain...

But anyways, we had a lot of fun!!! Then we came back to the dorm rooms, hung out and talked for a bit, and I wrote that promise to write this blog.

Sorry about the not having pictures so far. I guess I'm not keeping that part of the promise....

Today, Sunday I was determined to get more work done. I met up with my group for my Intro to Acting class, as we had to rework a scene for class. It went well, I'd say! I'm pleased with the final outcome, though there's a few finishing touches we'll need to make tomorrow morning.

I went to lunch at EVK, not expecting much else out of my day... when I got a Facebook message offering me the lead in a student film I had shown interest in!!! Turns out I responded too late to receive that role, but I still got to be the other female character!!! I spent some time preparing for that for a while in the afternoon before finishing my Philosophy homework, getting halfway through my Intro to Production homework, and going to dinner.

I got picked up at 7 (adventure 1: being in a car for the first time since I moved down here), and was taken to the house of the Fraternity Delta Tau Delta (adventure 2 and 3: going to a frat house for the first time, and getting to go to the particular frat house of the fraternity Will Ferrell was in when he went to USC. Fun fact). I had 5 scenes to do, and then I got to hang out with some of the guys afterwards (adventure 4: meeting new friends on The Row). It was really fun!!

When I got dropped back off, I went to Starbucks to get myself a snack and some tea, but the line was pretty long. I started talking to the guy in front of me in line, and turns out he's on USC's baseball team! (adventure 5!) That would be a fun game to go see!!!

Anyways, it's been quite a day. I'm still worried about my homework... I got everything done due tomorrow, but there's still a lot to do.... at least things are looking up since Thursday.

Thanks for reading through ALL of this, if you did. You guys are the best. Fight on, friends!

Promises, promises

Sorry again.

The days are just all blending together.

I promise a full blog about both Friday and Saturday when I find a time to procrastinate/take a study break tomorrow.

With pictures and everything.

Yes.

I will tell you that it's 3am, I watched Lord of the Rings tonight, and now I have beautiful images of Legolas and Pippin and Frodo in my head.

Also, I want iTunes giftcards for Christmas.

....Soo.... see you tomorrow?

Until then, Fight on, friends.

What's in a day?- September 12, 2013

Hi! It's me again!

Did you have a good day?

I was told several times today to enjoy my day, or to have a good day. I didn't start the day feeling like it was a good day though. I was actually in a pretty sad little funk: still tired, slept in too late, wanting to curl up in a hole and do absolutely nothing...

But I got to talk to my friend Will on Facebook, and when our conversation ended, he said he hoped I'd enjoy my day, and really have a good day.

To make myself feel better, I picked up a chai tea latte and a scone from Starbucks. As I was outside eating it, I ran into my friend Tyler. We got to chat for a bit, and he too told me to have a great day.

I talked my mom then, to get some advice on how to feel better and not be as sad-feeling. By the end of the conversation, she too said to have a good day.

What does it mean, really, to have a good day?

I mean, you technically can't control the events of the day, just your attitude about them. But let's be honest: when you've got a ton on your plate and things go wrong and you start wondering why you're in college in the first place cause you feel like you suck at everything, it's hard to keep your chin up.

But that's why God is awesome.

I did my little devotion time out on the lawn after that: reading the Bible and all. I was just about to get out a journal when I was approached and asked if I was interested in studying the Bible. I responded that yes, I was, and in fact was doing so at that very moment. Turns out she was a part of a church group that did one-on-one Bible studies every week, so I got her number, and felt good about that.

Then, my little devotional book and the verses that went with it told me exactly what I needed to hear. Afterwards, I just felt so strengthened and energized (maybe it was the caffeine in the chai tea) and ready to go!!! 

And the rest of the day looked up immensely!!!

My first class was really interesting and engaging, then I went to CVS and Facetimed with my past Youth Pastor and current friend Lisa, which was awesome. I've missed her so much!!! We skyped back at the dorms before my next class, and then we got out of that class early since we finished reviewing for our test next Tuesday!!! I studied a bit, went to dinner with Jinny, and then went to InterVarsity's weekly meeting. 

InterVarsity is one of the Christian groups on-campus. Every Thursday, they have a meeting called Encounter, which is...

I'm sorry. I must interupt my regularly scheduled writing to address what's happening outside my dorm room.

Someone just yelled "You suck, 49ers!!!"

...Excuse me? 

I don't care if you're drunk, buddy. Leave my hometown's football team ALONE.

Humph.

Anyways, Encounter is like a regular church meeting. But everyone's a college student. It felt like Highway and Woodleaf and Valley Life Center all rolled into one and I had a great time just... being back in that type of community. I met some great people and got oil on my forehead and the speaker was great. The series they're doing is called "Fake," and today's topic was love. Real love vs. fake love. At the end, we got to write down on little slips of paper ways in our lives we're going after fake love, and then everyone came down and put their little folded up papers in front of a cross as a symbol of just... giving it all over to Jesus and receiving his real love instead. It was really cool. I also got to have my elbow prayed over. It helped me mentally, just to trust God more with whatever's wrong with it...

Oh yeah, I haven't posted about that yet!

When I was in 6th grade, I broke my elbow and had to get surgery. They put a screw in my arm at the time, and I've been living pretty comfortably with it since. A little over a week ago, my elbow just... started hurting. 

It wasn't too bad for a while... but it's been getting worse. It feels like it did back when I was recovering from the surgery; I can't extend my arm all the way, and there's pain if I try to extend it too far. At the same time, I can't brush my hair well because my arm won't bend the other way all the way either (that is, towards my shoulder). All the pain is centered on the area where the screw would be, or where the old injury would be, or the muscle that goes from my wrist to the place on my elbow where it's attached.

That said... any advice? I have an appointment at the medical center next week (that's the earliest I could get an appointment for), but I don't know what else to do...

Anyways, now I'm back at the dorm, wide awake, and it's almost midnight. I think I need better sleep habits...

I still miss everyone at home, and I'm still feeling pretty overwhelmed... but at least today was a good day :)

Fight on, friends

Real Life Practice- September 11, 2013

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Hello. Today, I am taking over this blog.

Who am I, you ask? I'm the decision in Rachel's head to shake things up, give things a new perspective... you know, the "artist" in her that wants to experiment and try new things.

But let's pretend I'm an omnipresent, anonymous narrator, like the ones you hear in the movies. Let me take you on a similar, documentary-style journey. We will follow the life of a young actress on her quest to become acclimated to the real world.

Let's call her.... Rachel.

Rachel wakes up in the morning from her college dorm bed, high above the actual floor of her dorm room. This bed would accurately symbolize the unattainability of a peaceful, complete rest; she wakes up dizzy and disoriented, wondering if she woke up sick? Perhaps she should skip class? Watch now... how slowly she's moving... trying not to wake up the sleeping roommate and she crawls off to class...

But isn't a lack of sleep normal for all working people?

I mean, really: how else is the populace of working men and women supposed to accomplish all that needs to be done on a normal schedule if they go to bed too early? And even if they can, life is a tiering process. There are children to take care of, work to finish up at home, homes to be cleaned, errands to be run, and the list goes on and on.

She arrives in class at 8am sharp, having eaten her breakfast on the way there. Sorry we missed that, as her morning walk usually puts such a joyful, hopeful expression on her still-sleepy face. Luckily, class starts slow, and she is able to awaken in enough time to realize just how much she needs to accomplish not only in this class, but throughout her day. She desperately seeks advice from her professor: "How do I get myself to cry in a scene?" The answer is vaguer than hoped.

More class, more class, and she almost falls asleep again. The class this time is Philosophy.

Observe again, the practical applications: a job is exciting and invigorating at times, especially in a field you want to work in, but it is a job. It is work. Try to put Philosophy and logic and basics into the picture and who cares? There is a job to do: we cannot argue over the existence of God all day.

At this point, watch Rachel's face. Doesn't she so desperately need a nap? She's on the phone now, with her grandmother. Though the aura of sleepiness remains, there is a spark in her eye as she gets to go back to her room, sit, relax, and have a pleasant, normal conversation with the grandparents she loves. Happy Birthday, Rachel's grandpa.

It is family that provides true happiness, advice, and care, is it not?

But alas, there is work to be done. In the quiet library, on the most comfortable couch, after reading a few scenes from A Streetcar Named Desire, what could possibly be more relaxing? It is work, but it is still lovely. Hark! Rachel's expression changes. The silence moves in around her... closer...closer...until it screams with the to do lists and the confusion and the "How am I going to get all of this done?" "I've got to plan this all out..." "This is literally impossible." "I'm doing too much!" Overwhelming, overwhelming, unending.

Remember. Remember remember remember 9/11. She'll fit it into today's schedule. Does now count? She'll do it now, really quick.

Now let's skip past her lunch break. What a charming little farmer's market! She does a tad of snack shopping; no worries, only healthy pumpkin seeds, trail mix, and walnuts for her.

Remember what was mentioned earlier about errands? Here it manifests itself.

But what of friends? Family provides comfort, but is there room for friends in the lives of people? Rachel certainly seems much happier after she happens to come across her friend, Thomas. Look how nicely they exchange stories and history and puns.

But again with work and philosophy. The break is not for forever, and the struggle for Rachel to stay awake during the Fine-Tuning variation of the Teleological Argument for God's Existence is as obvious as the complication of this sentence.

*sigh*

But here... if I have kept your attention, dear reader, is where we see a variation on Rachel's real life.

Perhaps it would be more enlightening to enter her mind for a moment:

"Ok ok ok get out of my way people. Where is my room key?

I'm so glad I picked out my outfit beforehand... does this actually look ok? Ugh, my hair is too short for this hairstyle, but at least I look a bit younger."

She proceeds now to make faces at herself in the mirror, corresponding to a few different emotions. Then packs a bag and leaves.

"I totally look lost right now. Am I sure I look ok? Oh my gosh, Rachel! They don't care what you look like! They just want to see that you can act!!! Focus..."

"This is seriously one of the most beautiful schools I've ever seen. Wow!! What? They've got a coffee place inside here? It's like a museum...

...Where am I going? Those aren't the stairs... Oh, ok. Now we're getting somewhere....

Ok, ok... read the script again. And again. And again...."

She enters a room for a few minutes, and comes back out with a big breath. What are her thoughts?

"....Well that sucked."

On her way out, a strange, ugly man stops her as she tries to make her way back to the stairs.

"Do you have a car?"
"Um.. No... sorry... I..I live on-campus."
"Oh, ok. You should give me your number."
"...Uhh..I..."
"Are you an actress?"
"Yes"
"I'm doing a casting this next weekend, so you should give me your number and I can stay in touch."
Plausible in a film school, perhaps, but Rachel responds.
"Oh...I'm sorry, my schedule's pretty booked right now."

But she thinks,
"Man, I should get business cards."

Have you caught the subtext?

Rachel is living a double life.

Imagine it: she has two jobs. She is a student, and this is her most demanding job. It is full-time, hard work, but through it, she obtains housing and food. Without this job, should she fail at being a student and doing well, she could lose the ability to live in her current housing and have no food to eat and have to move back in with her parents.

Her other job is as an actress. This is, of course, what Rachel aspires to do one day, but she is already living it. She hops from audition to audition, stressing over how she will look and what she will say and her craft and how to continuously perfect it. It's important. It's the dream. It doesn't pay the bills, but it's what she wants to do.

Besides balancing two completely different phases of life, she has maintained a sociable presence. After studying in her dorm room a while, she goes to dinner with her roommate and friends.

She's even monitoring her own health as she, in this very moment, plans when she is going to work out tomorrow, scolds herself for being up this late, and wonders if she's actually sick or just exhausted.

This is what college is. College is a duplication of the outside world in which students are plunged into a guarded, almost-escapable reenactment of what they will be facing once they leave this college campus. Every detail, from finding housing to securing food to making friends to finding time for fun to balancing a job or more, is carefully mirrored on a college campus.

We might as well say that Rachel is living in a small apartment. There is one bathroom she shares with the entire apartment, and she lives with a roommate. They are both students, but Rachel is working as an actress part-time as well, in an attempt to make it somehow and go part-time with both jobs.

They are working, fighting, pursuing, and realizing that... there's got to be a place in here for dreams... but are they going to fit into the budget and schedule?

Rachel's barely got time for religion. Just a few hours ago, she abandoned thoughts of trying out a Bible study in order to get reading done. That ought to be the most important. What if she has to sacrifice not the faith itself, but the showing of it in order to not be "fired?" From either job?

But this is how a university shapes children into adults, Rachel included. Practice.

Real life practice.

They've been in the middle of it, all along.

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I'm in the middle of it. And every moment counts.

And you know what stinks? When I leave college... I'll still be in the middle of it. But it won't be practice anymore.

...Fight on, friends.

College Juggling- September 10, 2013

Looks like Tuesdays aren't so bad after all.

I found the trick: getting a nice hot cup of tea before my 8am Theater production class instead of after. That way I have something to sip on and to keep me happy while I hear lectures about power tools. Plus, there's some caffeine!

After class I had some devotions time, then went to work out in the Marks Hall dungeon gym. Have I talked much about this gym?

It's basically in the basement of one of the nearby dorm buildings. I call it a dungeon because
a) It smells like sweat down there
b) There's only one window, and it doesn't show anything.
c) It's really undecorated
d) It's pretty randomly thrown together
e) It's quite gray
f) It's in a basement.
g) Hardly anyone ever goes down there.

Nevertheless, I like it most because of option g. The equipment they put down there works nicely, plus there's a mini dance floor with a mirror wall and ballet bar, so that makes me happy :) Also, the steps to get back up to real life give you an extra work-out after your work out!

I ran into my friend Sam after grabbing some lunch on my way to my next class. She's really fun to talk to! I find I'm starting to bond with the kids in my acting class quite nicely. They're really nice people!

Class was nice. I spent some time afterwards getting to do list stuff done before Spanish class (or, attempting to get to do list stuff done...)

Then, tonight I had my last acting workshop!!! It was a significantly smaller turnout for tonight, but we focused on acting for film and television, and learned some really neat things about what makes film acting different, but at the same time, exactly the same as normal theater. I also started learning how to control when I blink and when I don't.

The gist of it is every detail matters. Every motion, every blink, every gesture conveys something different. When you've got a limited field to work with (that is, whatever the camera may be showing), you have to work with what you've got to still get your emotion across. The other big advice the teacher had was to take a film editing class. As a film actor, you've got to know how to work with the film editor so that your moments show up in the film. You have to know what the editor is looking for and what they can actually use!!! So that was informative and cool. Plus, Andy Sircus from Lord of the Rings was a big focus of the discussion, because he's a great example of an actor who uses holistic acting in film. Yay!! Lord of the Rings!!

After grabbing dinner at Parkside, I talked with my family, and I've been in my room attempting to get things done ever since... I really ought to have done more tonight... I'm feeling kinda guilty...

But at the same time, I'm getting used to the juggling act of college. There's a lot to balance and focus on. It takes some practice... but I'm getting there. I need to find more time for homework, that's all...

OH! I almost forgot to write about one of today's highlights!!!! I got my very first letter in the mail!!! It was from my dearest friend Annie and it was lovely and I cannot wait to write her back. You beat me to the punch, Annchan!!! I've been wanting to write all of my friends letters!

Anyways, tomorrow we throw another ball into the juggling mix. Wish me luck.

Fight on, friends.

What I Miss the Most- September 8-9, 2013

Sorry for not writing yesterday.

I was just exhausted. It was another rough day yesterday anyways: didn't do a whole lot, mostly did homework and laundry and tried to get to bed early. I did get to go to a Christian group in the morning for a church-type service, so that was nice.

I also met up with a girl who I was considering taking voice lessons from. The meeting seemed disorganized and scattered, and she threw a lot of technical terms at me all at once... but she also made me realize how bad of a singer I am... I don't pay attention to technical things a lot, and there's a lot of technique that would greatly strengthen my voice, especially if I take the time to actually practice. I need to take the time to practice too: your voice is an instrument. You need to practice playing it just like you would piano or flute or anything, so that was convicting...

Then I went to rehearse a scene with my group from my acting class. We had to perform it to the class today. This turned out to be fun...except I was approved to go to a taping of the X-Factor today and had to miss it because of this rehearsal. Jinny and Sneha went instead, and ended up getting Simon Cowell's autograph... I'm happy for them, but sad thinking that it could've been me...

Today was a much better day though! Well, relatively.

My group got pretty grilled on our acting scene. Mary Joan is wonderful, but she sure doesn't sugar coat things when they aren't going well. I appreciate it, but at the same time... it would appear that not a lot went well with how we decided to perform our piece.... I even got called out for wearing jean shorts instead of black pants. I'll have to do that next time...

I also had my first Theater 130 lab, in which I learned how to use a ton of different power tools and normal tools around the shop. It was intimidating at first, because I was started with the metal tools that spray sparks everywhere, but after I got used to that it was pretty fun! I'm proud of myself for it!!!

I did some shopping at the bookstore, and feeling really inspired and put-together, I treated myself to a book that's been catching my eye every time I go to the bookstore. It's called "How to be a Working Actor," and is supposed to be filled with tips and advice on how to do well in this crazy business. I'm excited to read it.

I worked out and grabbed some lunch then, and got to enjoy just being outside... God really blessed me today in small details, I think. It was finally cool, there was a breeze, I saw a butterfly, I heard birds even among the noise and the chaos, food tastes so good... all these little things just add up to peace and joy and blessings.

And then I went to Philosophy. I've discovered the time of day when I get the most tired: right in the middle of the time I had my philosophy class. It's not that the class is boring, I'm very interested and engaged!! I just can't seem to keep my eyes open....

After a ten minute power nap after class, I studied, grabbed some dinner, talked with my family, studied a bit more, and then started to panic. I read somewhere on Facebook about auditions for a musical on-campus, and thought that the auditions were happening tomorrow! They require one pop or rock song, so I was trying to figure out a song I could do and was pulling out sheet music I had and thinking through a monologue...

Then I looked at the details closer. Signups are tomorrow. The auditions are later in the month. Phew!

Well, since I have time to prepare, I think I'll audition. The show is "Rent," which, as popular as it is, is more of a risque show and definitely not in my typical voice type. But hey, it never hurts to try, and since I didn't audition for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels earlier this semester, I figured I might as well try for some musical this semester, right?

I'm so tired right now... Why do I write this blog when I'm super tired? Maybe because I shouldn't be going to bed this late... like, ever, but I still am...

The past few days have reminded me of a lot of things I miss about being home and not in college. For example...

-A Christian community constantly around me
-Prayer. Out loud prayer with other people, that is
-Worship music
-No trouble deciding what I want to eat for dinner
-More motivation to get to bed early
-Decisions that are made based on other people's plans. Takes off some responsibility, you know?

I guess I took a lot of that for granted at home.

I also miss my siblings and my parents and family and all my wonderful friends. Speaking of my friends, I got to talk to one today who I haven't talked to in weeks. We used to talk every day!!! It's just... so strange, I guess. I guess I took a lot of my friendships for granted sometimes.

Another thing that's weird now is my dreams that I have. They aren't just dreams anymore. Now is the time I start making them a reality. This is the time to build my resume, learn these skills that are going to help and equip me in the real world, and discover just how challenging my life is going to be. I'm preparing, being proactive, working harder at what I love than I ever have before, and it's so exciting... yet at the same time, completely intimidating. I wish it was easier... but I've heard it said before that nothing worth doing was ever easy to do.

There's a lot to juggle. I'm getting used to it though... step by step. One day at a time.

Fight on, friends.

Game Day #1- September 7, 2013

So did you see the game tonight?

Today started out pretty nice. I went to breakfast with Kieryn and Jinny, but had a cinnamon roll which was too sugary. Oh well, it was still nice!!

Kieryn and I studied/read a bit in the lounge, but I didn't concentrate too well since I was texting my family at the same time.

Then I met up with a guy I met named Blake. I tried to have some sort of lunch, but wasn't really hungry. Shoot me a message if you'd like more information about this encounter.

Then, it was time to get ready for the game!!! And that's what really mattered about today.

All day today, there have been people and alumni and children and barbeques and alcohol and tents and... just... EVERYTHING on campus. All day. The game started at 7:30 and they were there at least as early as 10:30. It was insane.

Anyways, I got my game day outfit and hair and everything all ready! I even curled my hair!

Sorry for the briefness of each item.... I'm so tired right now...

Jinny, Kieryn, Sneha, Kate, and I went to grab food at EVK because we knew we wouldn't for a while. That turned out to be pretty smart, even though I spilled Sneha's Coke all over her and we had to go back to the dorms to get cleaned up.... whoops!

Our tailgating adventure just turned into us wandering up and down the main road, looking around at all the crazy people. We met up with Kieryn's cousin and his friends, which was nice!! He gave Kieryn a Captain Hammer t-shirt and a Dr. Who TARDIS towel. Too cool right?

We headed over to the Coliseum at 5:45. The game started at 7:30.... We got great seats!!! Even though we were waiting there for a good hour... It was worth it!!!

We had fun!!! But then... well... did you see the game?

I'm less upset that we lost that I am at the way we lost. The fourth quarter, people started chanting horrid things... especially

"Fire Kidman! Fire Kidman!"

....Really? Blame this entire game on the coach? Are you serious?!? Lay off!!! I'd like to see all those shouting idiots try to play this game, or coach the team under all that pressure. Lay. The. Heck. Off.

What's worse, is we were losing 10-7, with two minutes left on the time, and our team lost the ball. People in the stands started leaving.... No hope? How can you give up hope that easily??? You never know what can happen in the last few minutes of the game?!?!

Then the TEAM ITSELF forfeited. They just let the clock run for a whole minute.... and the team just.... gave up....

.....ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDING ME?!?!? PEOPLE HAVE WON GAMES IN THE LAST THREE SECONDS BEFORE!!!!

...My first home game.... such a fun experience... with some great friends....

and....just....why?

We're all pretty upset... Some people more than others.... So we're watching Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog in Kieryn and Sneha's room to cheer us up.

....Maybe tomorrow will be better... tomorrow and the next game....

Why is our slogan "Fight on" if that's not what we actually do when the time comes?

Do what our team didn't, and Fight on, friends.

Friendly Phantom Squirrel- September 6, 2013

So the show I auditioned for is a no-go.

I got an email this morning saying that I did not have a spot in the show, but thanks anyways. Oh well... such is theater business.... though I can't lie, I am a bit disappointed.

I had time to work out this morning, then went to hang out with a representative from another Christian group on-campus called Christian Challenge. She was fun to talk to, and we completely lost track of time while we were there! I had to quickly go back to my room, grab my stuff for class, and take my bike over to Parkside to get brunch. I made it into class 5 minutes before it started, but it was good!

After class, some classmates and I met up to talk about our project for our acting class.
Have I mentioned how absolutely brilliant people here are? Really, there is such an amazing collection of brilliant, talented, outright incredible people. Today was certainly one of those days where I didn't feel I fit that standard again.

The next entire hour and a half consisted of me wandering around campus, being unable to make up my mind of what to do. What I did do was go back to my dorm, then go to Starbucks for a smoothie, go to the Drama Center to pick up a key for my acting class's project rehearsal room on Sunday, go back to Starbucks for a scone I'd had my eye on, wander around Doheny library, and then finally settle at Leavey Library.

While I was at the Drama Center, I ran into a boy and girl and a mother who were on a tour of the Drama school. This was where they started, but it was very obvious that they were visitors.

"Are you guys touring?" I asked
"Yes," they said.
"Prospective drama majors then?"
"Yup."

The next thing that came to my head to do was sing the beginning of a song from the musical, Pippin:

Join us! Leave your fields to flower... Join us..."

Those were the only lyrics I knew, but you get the idea. They both laughed and one said, "I love that song" as I walked away to go pick up the key. They were still there when I got back, so I commented,

"You guys got that song stuck in my head!" And I continued to sing the only other part of the song I know:

We've got magic to do! Just for you!

They stopped me before I left and asked if I was a student in the drama school. I said yes, of course. I ended up talking with them for a couple of minutes just about the school and answering some of their questions. They're both high school seniors, one from Arizona and the other from Colorado. I did my best to answer, even though I'm just a freshman, but I hope what I said helped them out and they enjoyed their tour. It was fun for me!

I should be a tour guide on campus. Sneha, if you're reading this, send me that link you've been promising about that!!!

Anyways, my other adventure within my journeys was after I got my scone. I sat down to eat it in the courtyard of Literatea, and a squirrel saw me eating it. He literally looked straight at me munching, put his little paws to his mouth, and acted like he was eating.

Then he crept... ever so slowly and stalkeresque.... right up to the flowerpot next to where I was sitting.
It kinda creeped me out. I've heard stories of these squirrels just jumping onto people. This one looked like it was ready to hop right on my shoulder and snatch the scone out of my hands, and I was NOT about to pet it!

I threw it a crumb, and admired it as it greedily munched it up. I could tell after that, it wanted more. It continued to creep ever so near to me... again, making me think it was going to jump right on me... but I just didn't make eye contact and, (I'm sorry to admit it), talked to him a little. "No, that's all you get. Shoo now."

He ended up climbing up a tree, skirting all the way around me, and then, on the ground, moving closer and closer to my toes. My feet were stretched out in front of me, as I was leaning back. It was just about to reach my toes...

...when I wiggled them.

The squirrel jumped what seemed like ten feet in the air and ran so quickly away I couldn't help but laugh out loud. All that, and he's scared of my toes!!! It was adorable. :)

Anyways, I ended up in Leavey, where I attempted to study a bit... didn't really go well. I did finish "Hedda Gabler" though. It has an ending that's needing to be discussed....

Jinny and I went to dinner at Parkside, and wandered through the bookstore and the campus center on our way back. Then we finished watching The Phantom of the Opera... It's so beautiful.... We've both been singing it nonstop since we finished watching it...

Why are sad stories beautiful? What makes them beautiful? Is it just the singing, in this case? Or is it something deeper? Why is there beauty in tragedy? What is it about the story itself that makes it resonate with people and draw them closer to it? Pity? An almost happy ending? Who knows?

So now we're just getting ready for bed. I'm trying to plan out my weekend too. It's going to be a full one! Turn on your TV's tomorrow, folks. The Coliseum is going to be lit up bright with Cardinal and Gold, and I expect that you'll be cheering for the right team. ;)

Fight on, friends.

I feel Famous...- September 5, 2013

Have you ever have one of those days where right after you wake up, something happens that tells you right off the bat that it's gonna be a great day?

That was today.

I woke up a little later than I wanted to, and still felt super tired and sleepy, but while I was going through my typical Internet rounds (email, Facebook, Youtube), a new episode of a Youtube show I watch caught my eye.

Youtube is my TV. I don't really watch TV shows, I have to decide and be in the right mood to watch a movie, but Youtube is quick, simple, and much more realistic to me, which I like.

Anyways, this one channel was called rhettandlink2. The two guys that run it are named Rhett and Link (as you could guess from the name). They run a show every weekday morning that they've just launched again called "Good Mythical Morning," which is basically their own version of a talk show.

Anyways, on their Facebook page a while ago, they asked for things they could give people advice on. I decided to respond, being a new college freshman, and because these two are funny and it would be interesting to see what they'd have to say.

This morning, this video caught my eye... Watch the first bit.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!
RHETT SAID MY NAME!!!!!!!!

I feel so famous!!!! This is seriously cool!!!!!

Ok, ok, I know some of you are going to be concerned about privacy and my full name on the Internet and all that jazz. But STILL!!! I feel so cool!!!!!

For the record, I am not related to Reba McEntire. :)
Or am I.... someone let me know if that's true!

So feeling absolutely ecstatic, I went off to meet up with a professor at the Thorton School of Music about voice lessons. The cost is a little steep, but she liked me and thought I had a good-sounding voice, so we're going to meet every other week. That's a bit cheaper, and clearly more easy for her, so I'm happy with it!

I had a longer break than expected after that, so I practiced for my audition again before going to my Text Studies Class. Hedda Gabler is getting really interesting! I can't wait to finish it, but I'm going to wait until after my discussion session tomorrow so I don't have an unfair advantage in the discussion.

Immediately after, I went to my acting teacher's office for her office hours, and she helped me with my audition monologues. Correction, she transformed my audition monologues. I have some habits I get into with monologues, I guess, but she really helped me straighten them out. It was wonderful!!!

I went after that to grab some really late lunch before my next class. Spanish is alright.

Walking back to my dorm from Spanish, I realized that that time of day, the early evening turning into sunset and the sunset, is my favorite time of day. It's beautiful and cool and fresh and lovely....

Anyways, I practiced for another hour and grabbed dinner from EVK. Dinner was really disappointing. I thought they'd have something I saw earlier in the day, but they didn't. I should've gone to the Campus Center :P

For the record, don't feed me pizza when I come home. I'm not sick of it, persé, but it is the food that got me through today...

Then I had my audition! It was really relaxed, and I think I did well. I certainly did much better than I would have without the help I got! I celebrated with cookies from Seeds :)

To end the evening off, I sat in the lounge... wanting to be productive, but I watched the 25th anniversary performance of Phantom of the Opera instead. I've forgotten how absolutely stunning that musical is!!!! I watched all of Act 1, then got ready for bed, and now I'm here.

Today's a good day. Please be praying still though: people all over the floor are getting sick. Yikes!!!

:) Fight on, friends.

Care package!!!!!- September 4, 2013

Today was much better than yesterday.

Basically, yesterday I let myself get too overwhelmed and carried away with that, and didn't handle very many problems that came up well... Today I felt more sorted-out and in-control, like I had a bit more power over what I should be doing and shouldn't be doing.

Except one thing: I'm not going through with Kitty Bungalow after all, and that makes me sad. A lot of people expressed concern over the location of the Bungalow, and me getting there all on my own, plus this semester is going to be hectic enough, and I could use every hour I can get... It breaks my heart, honestly... I feel so guilty... and felt even more guilty about it yesterday.... but we'll see how things turn out later, I guess.

Anyways, have I mentioned how much I love my acting class? It is more than worth getting up early to get to class at 8am. Today, I learned how to create panic in a scene, set up a time tomorrow to work with Mary Joan on a monologue, and also learned the actual story behind the "What a to do to die today" poem... I'll never think of it the same way again!!! Message me if you want to know: it's a tad extensive to explain for such a little ditty.

I just love love love that class. So much.

Anyways, I had my discussion session for Philosophy, then came back to the dorm to study in the lounge for a while. I ended up working for longer than I thought: I found new monologues, did my Spanish and Text Studies homework, and then practiced for my audition tomorrow before going to lunch with Jinny and Thomas! We had a great time. Thomas is going to bring us to Disneyland ;) Well, we hope so.... (please?)

My philosophy class was after that, and to be honest, the topic was really intriguing: Does God exist? Unfortunately, about halfway through the class I got super tired and sleepy-feeling.... it was so hard to stay attentive... I didn't really, for part of the discussion, but I did get some interesting notes from what I was attentive to, and actually stayed after class to talk with the professor about somethings we mentioned in the discussion. I felt pretty stupid talking to him. Not because of condescention or anything, he just knows his stuff really, really well. It's a bit hard to follow... but when I didn't know something, I admitted it, and now I have two questions to ponder to myself when I'm feeling philosophical:
1) Was there a time before matter existed, and then a time after matter existed? Or did time and matter come into existence at the same time? What do I think on this and why? What is the evidence to support it? (this one I'm pretty lost on... It's a really abstract concept for me to consider, really)
2) Why should God be an exception for not needing a cause to exist, while everything else in the universe must have a cause of existence? What is the argument for this?

So yeah. I'll be mulling those over when I find time to think of them...

The weather was so perfect outside this evening... I actually dismissed some plans I had made to go to a Bible Study and a meet-up with Christian leaders that I could've gone to just so I could sit outside on my blanket, work on homework, and enjoy my FIRST CARE PACKAGE!!!!!!

But mostly homework. I promise. The other parts were icing on the cake.

BUT MY FIRST CARE PACKAGE!!!!

I have the best family ever. Ever ever ever. They sent me stuff to clean off my laptop and phone safely, my favorite audition shirt, tweezers, popcorn, and... get this

LORD OF THE RINGS

I have, in my possession, the extended editions of Lord of the Rings!!!! Which I really wanted!!!! And my family listened because they love me so so much!!!!! I'm seriously ecstatic!!! My friends and I are watching the first one this weekend :D

Speaking of my friends, I met up with them for dinner after I finished my assignments due tomorrow. It was Hawaiian Luau night at EVK, which was.... a little underwhelming (who plays blasting rave music at a Luau?) but the food was good and the cake was better. We had an awesome time with the photo booth too!!

I came back to my room, but left it again shortly after to go scout out a place to practice my audition and singing. What I found was a vermin-infested courtyard between two of the buildings on campus. It was sufficient enough, and it's at the time of night where not too many people are around to give me weird looks. I enjoyed myself, and got work done, but I might use the music practice room next time... even though more people will be able to hear me.... :/ I don't know why I have a problem with that while I'm practicing. I get self-conscious, I guess.

And now, I'm back in my room trying to finish this stupid Spanish online homework. It's not due tomorrow, but I'm trying to get it done to stay on top of things. The problem is we have to get 100% on these online assignments in order to get a 100% on this section of our grade. We're allowed to take it as many times as we want... but it's taking me way. too. long. to get a 100%. Gaaahhh!!!!!! Stupid listening section!!!!

Two to go... just two to go....

But man, today had some great highlights in it :)

Thanks for bearing with me, guys. Fight on.